forever young
by lilmisssunshine11
Summary: Drama, new relationships, and murder. brian&justin pov. I hope you enjoy!
1. Childhood Friends

Seeing him there passed out on the couch filled Brian with rage. The man stirred. He opened his eyes slightly and spoke to the boy.

"Hey sonny boy…" he slurred.

"….how bout helping your old man out."

He obeyed. He propped his father up so he was sitting straight up.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"One in the afternoon."

"Why aren't you in school?" drool spilled out of his lips as he spoke.

"It's Saturday dad."

"Oh…right."

The boy left to go upstairs to his room. Loathing filled him. He hated him. He hated that he hated him. The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Brian, where have you been? I've been trying to contact you all day. Are you ok?"

"Chill Mikey, I just went out for a bit. I'm here now aren't I? What do you need?"

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over today and hang out."

"Is that just because you're bored and you have no other friends?"

"No…."

"Right…I'll be right over. What's your mom cooking?"

"Macaroni Casserole."

"Be there in 5."

With that he hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket and headed downstairs.

His dad was still there.

"Where you going?"

"Michaels."

And with that he was out the door. He didn't care what his father had to say. Anywhere was better than being home.

He walked into the house.

"Brian!! Michael must have told you we had casserole." The red haired lady said.

"Yup"

He went into the kitchen and sat down at the table with Michael's Uncle Vic.

"Michael, Brian's here!!!" she yelled.

In seconds there were footsteps rushing down the stairs.

"Hey ya Mikey."

"Hey. You sure came fast."

"Had to get out of the house"

Michael understood.

"So what do you boys have planned for this fine day?" Vic asked.

"Um I was kinda hoping we could go down to Buzzy's and read the latest issue of Captain Astro? If that's ok with you Bri?"

"We were there yesterday."

"So?"

"So let's go someplace new today. I think I know somewhere."

"Where's that?" Debbie asked.

"Oh I dunno just a place I heard some guys talking about."

"Ohhh rigghhtt." She gave a wink at Vic.

"Well you boys have fun."

As they walked down the street to this new place Michael asked

"So does the place that we're going have a name?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"Liberty Avenue."

Michael knew all about Liberty Avenue. His mom had worked there since he was 12. It's basically the gay district. Gays, Lesbians, Trannys, Drag Queens. It was kind of like the circus with rainbows.

Brian knew he preferred guys way back when he was younger. He guessed that the whole girls have cooties thing just never went away. When he got to middle school he had all the girls swoon over him. It bugged him. He hated it. Then when he took his first athletics class he knew he wasn't like everyone else.

Michael on the other hand didn't really know he preferred guys over girls until he was about 13 when he met Brian. Brian made him look at the male species in a completely different way. Brian was sculpted and chiseled. He had a beautiful tan body and eyes that made Michael melt. His voice was addicting and his presence was intimidating. Girls were nothing compared to Brian Kinney.

It was gym class, the class Michael hated, where they first met. He wasn't an athletic person. He didn't play sports when he was younger. In his class were all jocks. The coach told them they were going to play football for fun for the first day. Michael's stomach sank. Then the coach announced that they were going to pick teams. Michael almost died. The team captains were Josh Lockhart and Brian Kinney.

Michael wasn't surprised when it was just him and scrawny Jimmy left. It was Brian's turn to pick and he was almost 100 sure he was going to pick Jimmy.

"Him" Brian said pointing to Michael.

It took Michael a few seconds to realize Brian was pointing at him.

"Me?"

"Yes you. Get over here."

Michael got up and went to go stand with his team. During the game Brian saved Michael's butt. He covered for him and helped him any way he could. This puzzled Michael. Back in the dressing rooms some of the guys were talking about which chicks they've fucked and how easy it was for them to get the girls drunk and do them.

"Yea man she completely went for it. Anyway she was too drugged to know what was going on anyway." A jock named Clayton said.

"What about you Brian…what have you done to get into a girls pants?"

"I don't need to do anything to get laid."

The guys didn't really know how to take this or how to respond to his answer. Michael smiled to himself.

"What are you grinning about Navoteny?"

"Hm…oh nothing."

"Come on, how many chicks have you laid?"

"Probably none." Another boy said. "He probably likes dudes. Fuckin faggot."

"You a faggot Navoteny? Hmm…You probably suck dick and take it up the ass don't you?"

"No..." Michael said quietly.

"I bet if you could you would suck all of us right here."

He pushed Michael.

"Faggot"

"For saying he's a faggot you sure know a lot about what they do." Brian interrupted.

"You stay out of this Kinney." He warned.

"And if I don't."

"Well….if you don't…then you must be a faggot too." He said unconvincingly.

"Oh wow great comeback. Now you leave him alone or else I'm going to tell your girlfriend about that little incident in 4th grade. Remember…..in the tree house…at night…..when I…"

"Alright, just shut up. I'll leave him alone."

"Now that's a good boy….now you run along and go play with your jockstrap."

The bell rang. Clayton gave Brian the most menacing glare he could possible give. His eyes were yelling 'you're a dead man Kinney'. Brian just stared back. Emotionless.

Then he turned to Michael and told him to come with him. Michael obeyed.

"Thanks…" Michael stuttered.

"For what?"

"For saving my ass back there?"

Brian just kept walking.

When they arrived at Liberty Avenue It was getting dark. Michael had never been at Liberty Avenue at night. It was like it completely transformed. Different people. The buildings were lit up that were bare and empty during the day. The atmosphere was completely carefree. He felt free.

Brian had snuck out to Liberty Avenue at night before. He's even snuck into Babylon, but only twice. Tonight he wanted to bring Mikey and have him experience what he's been missing for 17 years.

"Wow" Michael said.

"Welcome Mikey, to the other half of society."

They both smiled at each other and Brian took Michaels hand. They were unstoppable.

The people there were something you could stare at for weeks and still find them fascinating.

The thing that Michael remembered the most is the hair. There was giant hair that was every color of the rainbow. He even saw one that he sore was cotton candy.

Brian saw the look on Mikey's face and smiled to himself. For him Liberty Avenue was his life. It was him. It was all that he knew and all that he cared to know. He didn't give a shit about the world outside it. Everything else in his life just didn't matter. He was here with his best friend away from his dad. Nothing was better than this. Well maybe one thing but it was pretty close.


	2. Came Back

"Brian? Brian? Are you listening to me? We're coming back for Christmas." Michael said on the other end of the phone.

"Are you still there?"

"Yes I'm still here. What did you say?"

"I said were coming back for Christmas."

Brian hasn't seen Michael for two years, since he left for Toronto with Ben along with Lindsey and Mel. They moved to Canada so they could keep JR and Gus and raise them in a non hate environment. Brian didn't go with them because his business was down here and Deb was here but those were more like excuses instead of reasons.

"When are you guys coming?"

"Tomorrow"

"That soon? Can't wait to see ya Mickey. Are Mel and Linds coming down also with the kids?"

"Yea, their coming in with us"

"How are you?" Michael asked.

"Just peachy." He exclaimed. "How are you and the husband?"

"We couldn't be better."

When Michael moved Brian knew it was time they went their separate ways. He couldn't hold on to him forever. He had to let him live his life.

"Well I gotta go, JR is crying."

"Bye Mikey."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Brian took himself down to the Liberty Diner for some lunch before we went back to work. He spotted Ted and Emmett.

"We do it every night. It's the best sex I've ever had." Emmett exclaimed.

"Blake and I don't do it as much as we use to. We both have been busy with work. Hey Bri….what about yourself? Have you been having any luck?"

"Actually Theodore I don't need any luck to get fucked."

"Well of course."

"Hey boys guess what tomorrow is?" Debbie asked.

"Tuesday" Brian replied.

"Christmas Eve"

"The day Barry Manalow takes Celine's place." Emmett said sadly.

"Well yes but its also the day my Michael comes back home!!!" He smile was from ear to ear as she refilled the coffee cups.

"Michael's coming back?" Ted asked.

"Yea, so is the whole lot of them."

"Mel and Linds and the kids? Oh yay! A family reunion." said Emmett.

"The gay Brady Bunch." Brian said.

"It's so nice that everyone is back in town." said Ted.

"Not everyone." Brian said quietly.

Right then the door opened and it was like if the sun had just brightened the whole diner.

"I wouldn't say that." Ted said.

"Sunshine!!!" Debbie dropped the plates on the table and went over to give Justin a huge hug.

"Hey Deb"

"What the fuck are you doing here? You're some big artist now living in New York. Why you come back here?"

"For Christmas" he paused. "To see everyone"

Deb knew that when he said to see everyone it meant really to only see one person only.

Brian turned around and saw what he had been dreaming about for two year. The blond haired boy who had a smile that had always melted his cold heart.

"Well if it isn't Picasso." Brian said.

"We were just talking about everyone coming back for Christmas. How's New York?" Ted asked.


	3. I love NY

After Justin left Pittsburg he didn't really know how he would survive New York City. He was scared shitless but he was also filled with excitement. It was time for him to grow up and move on and see what the world was like without Brian Kinney being the center of it. He arrived in SoHo and bought an apartment. It was cheep, dirty, and cold but it was his. He started going to galleries and shops to see if any of the stores would take his work and sell it. For about two months he didn't have any luck until he met him.

His name was Landon. He was a bohemian art student at Hunter University. He owned a store in SoHo filled with dark and aggressive but talented paintings. He loved artist that had a story behind their work. That their story had things to tell. Secrets and feelings anxiously wanting to be reveled. That's why when he first saw Justin and his work that he knew there was something extraordinary.

Justin walked into a store called Truth and he said to himself that if this store doesn't want his stuff then he would move back to the Pitts and go back to school there.

When he first saw Landon his eyes relaxed. He looked like he was a man of the earth. He had a brown corduroy jacket on and his hair was to his shoulders. When he looked up at Justin he had forest green eyes. He was like a dream, a fantasy. A piece of this world you couldn't draw because you're afraid you could possibly draw his beauty. He smiled and Justin forgot who he was and where he was.

"May I help you?" he said in a velvety voice.

It took Justin a while to realize Landon had said something to him.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh sorry, yes I was wondering if you had the time to take a look at my work and see if you were interested in selling it. I'm Justin by the way."

"Hi I'm Landon and sure I'll take a look at your work."

Justin brought it to him and he opened up the portfolio.

"You did this?"

"Yea…if you're going to reject it now then lemme just say that I'm sorry I took up your time. I know it's not good enough. A lot of people have turned me down."

"No don't go." He quickly said. "I mean this is fantastic. It's beyond fantastic it indescribable. You're an amazing artist Justin. I've fallen in love with you…your work. Look, you can see your passion…and the anger here, and look at the love shinning right here. And I can't believe how good you are at the human form. Every detail making it come alive. Soft, yet defined. I will love to sell your art."

"Really, thank you so much. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that."

Over the next few months they started to get to know each other and go out for dinner and coffee. Landon also showed him the hottest clubs. He made Justin laugh and he enjoyed just sitting down and having a conversation with him. It wasn't all about the sex. Well that is until they finally did it.

They just got back from dinner and went back to Landon's apartment. Landon wanted to show Justin the Van Gogh collection he owned.

"They said he was insane. Schizophrenia."

"Are you serious? Wow."

"Take a look at his self portrait." He said handing Justin the painting. "Look at his eyes. So many stories…so much pain."

"Their heavy-hearted. It looks like he's had too much to deal with and a lot of bad shit in his life including people not understanding who he is. Like art was his only escape."

"Sounds like you're speaking from the heart."

"It's just what I see…I feel that I can relate to him…to trying to survive on his own where people don't understand you."

"You want something to drink."

"Sure."

"Is wine ok?"

"That's fine."

They sat sitting on the couch looking at Van Gogh's art all around them.

"Has anyone told you how gifted you are?"

"Kind of, he had his own way of showing it."

"I wish more artists were like you. Other artist just make up things, stored in their heads and just paint what they think it would be like. You take actual feelings and emotion and know how they are going to be put on paper. I admire that."

Then Justin couldn't stop himself. He leaned over and kissed Landon and soon they were kissing each other and holding each other in each others arms. Justin pulled of his shirt and his body was smooth and lined. Not sculptured so you could see every muscle, but soft and tan.

They made love and it was nothing Justin had ever experienced before. It was soft but rough. It was basically perfect.


	4. What happens at Babylon

"Sunshine, sit down what do you want to eat?"

"Nothing Deb, just a cup of coffee"

"You didn't answer us yet, how was New York?" Emmett asked.

"What he means is what the guys are like?" Ted asked.

"Beautiful." He smiled.

God how Brian missed that smile.

"Did you get your work in a store yet?" Brian asked.

"Yea it's in this store in SoHo called Truth."

"Wow. Em, why don't we get out and do something with our lives?" Ted asked.

"Honey my life is already fabulous as it is and I already accomplished everything I wanted to get done."

"Well I gotta go. I'll see you guys later." Ted said.

"Yea me too Drewsey is going to get home soon and I gotta…..umm…cook him dinner."

"You mean fuck his brains out." Brian implied.

"Sure."

Emmett and Ted got up and left.

"Well I guess I've got to get home. You wanna come and tell me everything about New York?" Brian asked.

"Sure."

They walked in silence for a bit when Justin couldn't take it anymore and asked.

"So how have you been?"

"Why do people keep asking me that? I'm just fine."

"That's good."

"So what's his name?" Brian finally asked.

"Who's whose name?"

"Oh don't give me that bullshit. I know when you're fucking someone. Tell me."

"His name's Landon."

"Is he a fiddler too?"

"No he owns the shop that sells my work. He's an artist too."

"How cute"

"What about yourself, have you been seeing someone?"

Actually Brian didn't fuck a guy for about three months after Justin left. He missed him more than he thought he would. He had a broken heart which he had never experienced before and he felt love. He was honestly happy that Justin went to New York to pursue his career. He never figured out why he never went with him. It was easier to say that it was over and move on but he never could. His face never left his mind and no one was ever good enough for Brian to even consider fucking more than once. But he wasn't going to tell Justin how he still fucks everything and anything. It was better left unsaid.

"Nope, I've been by myself. Working takes up most of the time."

"You still own Babylon?"

"Yea"

So how long are you staying for?"

Justin knew he cared.

"I dunno. I told Landon I was coming here for Christmas since he was going to South Dakota to see his family."

"Who the fuck lives in South Dakota?"

Justin laughed.

"I might go back for New Years."

They got to Brian's apartment.

"You wanna come in?"

Justin hesitated "I guess, just for a few minutes cause I'm going to go see my mom and molly."

They got up to his loft and went inside. Memories came flooding back into Justin's mind. Things he and Brian did. From the fights to the fucking. It was like a story being told in his mind.

"Is it just like you remembered?"

"You have no idea. I actually thought you would sell your loft."

"Why would I do that? You want something to drink?"

"Sure, what do ya got?"

"Beer…wine…liquor."

"A beer is fine. So have you heard anything from Michael?"

"Yea he is coming tomorrow."

"Wow that's great. Everyone will be back."

"Yea, so didja miss me?"

"What?"

"I said did you miss me?" He repeated.

Honestly Justin didn't really think about Brian much in New York. When he met Landon his whole life in the Pitts kind of just disappeared. At first when he first arrived in New York yea he was lonely and he missed Brian a lot. The thought of if he made the biggest mistake of his life entered his mind and he was even considered going back and trying to make things worked but something inside him wouldn't let him.

"Sure, I missed you."

"You not being serious" Brian said as he walked over to where Justin was standing.

"I am. I missed you." Justin looked right into Brian's eyes. He forgot how much he loved staring into his honey colored eyes.

"Did you miss me?" He added.

Brian bent down and kissed him.

"What was that for?"

"That's how much I missed you."

"Ah."

"You wanna come to Babylon tonight with all of us?" Brian asked.

Justin knew the consequences of him going to Babylon tonight. He could just see it play out in his mind.

"I'm engaged."

"What?"

"I'm marrying Landon."

"So?"

"So I can't go."

"So what now since you're hooked with this hippie you can't go out with your old friends and have some fun?"

"No it's not that."

"Then what is it Justin because I'm just dying to know."

"I know what's going to happen if we go to Babylon."

"What's going to happen? Are you worried that getting blown in the backrooms is considered cheating on you fiancé? Or taking drugs if going to mess up your precious art ability?"

"Would you just stop. Fuck I knew you were going to be like this."

"Like what."

"You wouldn't understand. You never understand."

"Then tell me so I can be informed about the reason you won't come tonight."

Justin stares at him.

"I can't go because I will fall back in love with you."

Brian stared at him.

Inside he wanted to believe that Justin still cared. That what they had would still be there but he wasn't sure. He still loved Justin. He always had but honestly he didn't think they would ever see each other again.

"So you won't come because you scared that we will end up fucking our brains out later tonight."

"Sure if you wanna say it like that."

"Well let me relieve you from your worries that that will **never **happen again."

"I have to go." He quickly said.

Justin left Brian.

"Send your mom and molly my love." He shouted after him.

As Justin walked down the street he tried to understand what had just happened. He couldn't believe Brian. It was not the same Brian he knew when he left. It's like he was more bitter and angrier now. Why couldn't he just grow up and understand he had moved on and actually for once in his life be happy for him. Be happy that Justin was finally happy. But then again he imagined how he would act if Brian told him he was engaged to someone else. Justin tried to convince himself he would be happy for him but deep down inside he knew it wasn't true.

After Justin left, Brian sat on his bed smoking his cigarette and unwillingly thinking what Justin had just told him. He didn't know how he felt about Justin being engaged. He told himself he didn't care when he knew he did. I guess that's where the anger came from. He refused to dwell on it anymore and got ready to go to Babylon.

The thumpa thumpa was wilder than ever. The music drowned out Brian's feelings and emotions. The hot men surrounded him. He made his was to the bar.

"Look who's here." Emmett said.

"Brian we didn't except to see you here. Thought you would be home fucking Justin till the crack of dawn." Ted said.

"He's engaged."

"What?" They all said in disbelief.

"He's getting married." Brian repeated.

"Oh my goodness. I can't believe it."

Brian turned and left Ted and Emmett at the bar. He refused to think about it. He spotted what he wanted and led him to the back room.

As Justin entered Babylon a smile appeared on his face. He couldn't help it. He forgot how much he missed Babylon.

He took off his jacket and spotted Brian on the dance floor dancing with a guy. Muscular built, dark brown wavy hair, amazingly hot. The kind Brian usually went for.

Justin cut between them.

"Didn't except to see you here tonight" Brian shouted over the blaring music.

"I thought about what you said."

"Oh you did, did you?"

"Yea and I want to let you know that I'm secure in my relationship and that I shouldn't deprive myself from having a good time with my friends. That's why I came back. So I thought one night shouldn't hurt."

"And you realized your body needed to feel engulfed with amazingly good looking guys." Brian said amusingly.

"That to"

They smiled and then the DJ started to play a familiar song.

_Forever young_

_I want to be forever young_

_Do you really want to live forever_

_Forever_

_Whenever_

"I love this song." Justin shouted.

Brian looked at him dancing. The boy who changed his life, who made him love someone with all his heart. He still was beautiful. His blue eyes sparkled against the ever changing lights. There was glitter falling all around him. You could see every muscle through his tight fitted t-shirt. Then the boy smiled.

Justin looked at Brian. He couldn't help it but he still managed to take his breathe away. His light honey brown eyes glistened at him. His hair was falling into his eyes. His body was still built like a God. Then Brian smiled.

Brian grabbed Justin in his arms and pulled him close.

Justin wanted him so bad. He wanted to kiss Brian over and over again. He wanted their bodies to be entangled but most of all he wanted Brian inside of him. He knew he was being held back. He knew he couldn't hurt Landon. Landon trusted Justin. He couldn't break it. Then again he couldn't move away from Brian.

Their bodies together, their arms around each other staring into each others eyes. Both had longed to stay this way forever. Both longed to kiss each other. No one else in the club seemed to matter to them. All the memories came back and it felt as if Justin had never left. They were one again as time stood still.

The song ended and Justin told Brian he was thirsty. They went back to the bar.

"So is it as great as you remembered."

"You have no idea." Justin replied.

They were silent for a while and then Justin asked

"Why didn't you come with me?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you come with me to New York?"

"Because you had to live your life on your own, by yourself. You're young Justin you have a lot of things to experience."

"Yea but if you came I would have had everything I wanted with me."

"No, I was all you knew, all you cared about. You were going to sacrifice your art career to be with me. I wasn't going to let you do that to yourself. I wasn't going to let you waste your life on me."

"I want you to be my life."

"No you don't, you've had too many drinks and you don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't bullshit me. All I know is you Brian. Nothing compares to you. You are my art."

"I told you. I'm never fucking you again. You have a life outside of here. New York has proven you can make it on your own without me and be completely fine, and what about Landon? You love him. Well I guess you must have had loved him some since you told him you would marry him."

"I love you Brian."

"And I love you to but love is only getting in the way. Our love isn't real."

As much as Justin didn't want to admit it he knew Brian was right. He was hardly wrong. It still broke his heart.

"I gotta go." He told Brian.

"Wait."

He grabbed Justin's arm before he left and kissed him so softly and gently.

"I don't want you to forget me."

He looked into his eyes one last time.

"I won't"

With that Justin left.


	5. Art is my Life

He went back to New York and back to Landon. He felt like he made a total ass out of himself by saying those things to Brian. He thought he was over Brian. He tried to tell himself that it was the end of it. That it was over for good and the more he thought about it the more he didn't believe it.

When he got back he expected a nice surprise from Landon. That maybe he would have put his art on display and maybe even some of it was actually sold. He was sadly disappointed when he saw it was still wrapped up in the back.

As each day passed he keep checking the store to see if Landon had put it up and each day he came up with excuses as to why it wasn't up on display.

"He needs to reorganize the store in order to put mine up. You can't just set it out there, it has to look nice." He thought.

A month had gone by since he got back from Pittsburg and he still didn't see his art. He thought it might be ok to ask Landon about it.

"Landon? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why are my paintings still in the back, covered? Shouldn't they be out there for people to see." He asked.

"Oh I've been real busy and we have to redo the store to make it fit in with everything. It will be up soon, promise."

He smiled at Justin and with that he was reassured and thought it was a stupid thing for him to ask.

Although he knew Landon was super busy he still wanted to see his art up in the store.

More time passed and still his art was hidden. After a while he saw that his paintings were starting to collect dust. He had to ask Landon again. It's been three whole months. Justin was starting to believe that Landon didn't want it to be shown.

One night as they were sitting by the fire in Landon's apartment Justin finally got the nerve to confront Landon on what he was really thinking.

"Why don't you want my art to be shown?" he asked quietly.

"What?"

"I want to know why you won't let anyone see my art. Do you think it isn't good enough? That no one will like it and buy it?"

"No that's not the case I told you I'm really busy. I've got this new shipment coming in and I've got to get them in."

"So you can find time to put those in and up but you don't have a split second to put mine up there. Hell I don't even care if it hangs on the wall. Just if someone sees it instead of it becoming a home for the fucking spiders."

"Its not that I don't want your art to be out there its just I'm…I mean its….just not ready."

"What the fuck do you mean it's not ready?"

He stuttered while trying to find the right words to say.

"The truth is….is I…just want to keep it for myself."

"You want to keep it for yourself?"

"Yea…I don't want anyone else to have it."

"But I need the money."

"I know."

"Well you can't have it. I need to sell it. If you want me to paint you something I will but I have to sell my art."

"No you can't." he quickly replied.

All of the sudden Justin began to see the side of Landon he has never seen before. It was like he was a completely different person.

"If you won't sell my art then I will have to take it somewhere else. Why are you acting like this?"

"I won't let you take it. I haft to own it. It's not good enough to be out there for other people to buy."

"You're not making any sense. You think I'm not good enough."

Landon hesitantly said yes.

"Oh I see. I'm sorry to disappoint you but you can't possess me or my art. It's my art, It's my choice what I decide to do with it. I can't believe this is happening. I thought you told me that I was amazing, that my art was amazing."

"It is…you just don't understand." He cried.

"I've got to go."

"No don't please. There are other jobs you could do in New York to get money. You don't have to do art." He pleaded.

"Landon art is my life. It's the only thing I know how to do. I thought you knew that. I thought you thought I could make it."

"I just want you to myself."

"I can't be bound by you. I've got to go now."

With that Justin walked out of Landon's apartment confused and although he didn't want to admit it; hurt. Why did every relationship he tried to have with someone besides Brian fail?

Brian loved him. He knew this to be a fact. He loved him so much that he wanted him to forget him and go after his dream, his life. He denied him in Babylon because he wanted what was best for him and Brian must have thought that that was a life without him in it. Brian always believed in Justin's talent, he always knew he could be the next Andy Warhol. He needed Brian but then again he thought he needed Landon too. He asked himself why he couldn't make it in the world on his own. Why does he always need someone to cling to. It wasn't up to make him feel better about himself he just needed that love, that companionship. He wanted answers.

Justin went to the local bookstore and looked it up. He didn't want to believe that something was wrong with him but there was no other explanation.

He found in a book by Art Otool that what Justin was struggling with was a personality disorder. It stated that the constant need for love and attention is caused in your childhood. Usually when a parent, or parents don't give the child enough love, care or attention. Later in life they are often dependent on a person to give them what they were missing in their childhood.

Justin immediately thought of his dad. His dad couldn't give a shit about him. He didn't want anything to do with Justin after he found out he was gay. Justin didn't think that he needed that father figure in his life but apparently he did. He knew he always saw Brian as a care giver but not as a father figure, that'd be too hard to imagine. Brian did take care of him and look after him though. Was that the reason why Justin was so attached?

He didn't know what to do. He knew if he went back to Brian and tell him he loved him again Brian would just reject him once again.

But he wanted to be with Brian more than anything. Didn't Brian want him back also?


	6. Just Fine

Meanwhile Brian tried his hardest to forget Justin. He kept his mind busy with work and Michael.

The day after Justin left Michael had arrived with Ben, Linds and Mel and the kids.

"Daddy!!" Gus yelled as he ran into his father's arms.

"Sonny boy!!"

Brian missed his son more than he thought he would.

"Mikey." Brian said as he saw Michael approach.

A warm kiss and a hug were shared by the two long time friends.

"How are you?" Michael asked.

"Fantastic." It was hard for Michael to take him serious.

"Hey Brian" Ben greeted him.

Lindsey threw herself into his embrace. "Brian we've missed you so much."

"Even her"

"Well maybe not as much. It's good to see you again Brian." Mel said.

"Hello there. She's getting big. She's not still sucking on your guy's tits is she?" Brian said.

"No she's not. Honey you probably don't remember who this is this is your Uncle Brian. Can you say hello?" Lindsey encouraged.

"Hi." She said shyly.

"Well I better get you to the diner. Deb is already having a conniption fit."

As they walk to the car Michael and Brian lagged behind.

"Where's Justin? I thought you said he came back for the holidays too."

"He did. He left yesterday."

"What? How come"

"He had his hubby to go back to."

"Are you serious? He's married? Oh my God"

"Not quite yet. He's engaged."

"Oh. Are you ok?"

"Yea I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno I just thought it would be hard for you."


	7. Sunny once again

Justin decided to move back to Pittsburg. He liked to think that it wasn't just Brian that was making him come home. He missed everyone else. He had no clue what he was going to do for a job but that didn't matter, all he cared about was Brian. Now he wasn't going to come out and directly spill to Brian his heart and soul again, he was just going to try and be friends with him and then maybe hopefully he will take him back for the final time. He remembered that Daphane still lived around here. Maybe she will let him crash for a bit till he could find a place of his own.

"SUNSHINE!"

"Hi Deb" Justin said as he walked into the familiar diner.

Soon he was embraced in one of her warm but tight hugs.

"Why the fuck did you leave without even saying good bye to us?"

"I had some stuff back in New York I had to deal with."

"Everything ok honey?" She asked worryingly.

"Yea" He paused. "Now it is. It's great actually to be back in Pittsburg."

"How long ya staying for." She asked.

"I'm living here now."

"Yay! Everyone is going to be so excited that your back." She said excitingly.

"Not everyone."

"Oh honey I'm sure he is going to feel some excitement if not then I'll shove a broom up his ass till he's excited."

Justin couldn't help but laughed.

"Now whadda it be?" She asked.

"Oh nothing right now I'm not that hungry."

"Don't give me any bullshit, your eating something; you're as skinny as a tree. Do they not feed you in New York? You're having eggs and bacon so just sit your ass down." She boldly stated.

He knew he couldn't ague with her so he sat up at the bar looking around. Just in case.

"There ya go honey." Giving him his order a few minutes later.

"Coffee Deb"

Before Justin knew it there was Brian standing right next to him.

"Sure thing honey"

She waited for a minute before saying

"Are you fucking blind?" She asked.

"What?"

She pointed to Justin.

"Hey" Justin said.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Finally noticing that Justin was right beside him.

"Nice to see you to"

"I told you to go back to New York."

"I did."

"Then why the fuck are you here?"

"Things didn't workout there." He replied.

"What happened baby?" Deb asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok I understand but if someone hurt you then tell me and I'll beat the living shit outta them."

"Thanks Deb."

"Coffee?" Brian asked.

"Don't get your balls in a knot. Here." She gave him his coffee.

Brian left.

"It's going to take him a while." Deb said.

"I knew he wouldn't like to see me again but I didn't know he would be so angry about it. It's like we never were together. Like he never loved me" He said while picking at his eggs and bacon.

"Oh if you only knew sweetheart. I know he would probably hate me for telling you this but frankly I don't give a fuck. Ever since you left he's been… different. He doesn't go to Babylon nearly as much anymore. Maybe once a week and he doesn't fuck guys every day, but most of all he doesn't care about anything. He could care less if he was Brian Kinney. All he does is work long hours and does a shit load of drugs. It's gotten bad. Then when you came back for Christmas and told him you were engaged and then you left suddenly it only got worse. He has always been in a bad mood, but now it's was like he's dead inside."

Justin couldn't believe what Deb was telling him. Was this really true. Yea Justin thought he might miss him some but he would eventually get over him and go back to fucking everything that moves. What happened to him. And if he was the reason for making Brian like this than why. He wanted to talk to Brian but he knew he couldn't do it right away. They would end up fighting and just getting frustrated with each other. He decided to give it some time.

Daphane let Justin stay for a few months until he got a place of his own. He started to work at the diner again but just until he found another more successful job. He saw Brian every day in the morning and then sometimes at night with Emmett and Ted. He had to keep himself from just falling into his arms and saying he was sorry. He wanted to tell him what he figured out in New York. Although he couldn't help notice that every so often he would find Brian staring at him. It made him even more uncomfortable.

Then one night while he was working an evening shift Brian came up to the counter.

"So you want tell me yet?"

"What?"

"You wanna tell me why you came back to the Pitts from the fabulous life in New York with your future hubby."

Justin sighed.

"He's not my fiancé anymore."

"Really, how so?"

"Things didn't work out. I figured some things out and realized what was best for me."

"And what things did your little mind unravel." He said sarcastically

"I don't want to talk about it now. I'm working."

"No you're not, your talking to me."

"Well I've got to get back to work."

"Come over to the loft after work."

Justin looked at him in disbelief.

"Were not going to do anything…just talk"

"Fine"

Another two hours later of working and trying to figure out what he was going to say to Brian, he left work to go over to his loft. How he could possibly explain it to him. Try and make him understand and hope he would take him back.

Justin went into the building and went up to his loft. He knocked.

Brian pulled back the metal door.

"I actually thought that you wouldn't come"

"I always come when I say I'm going to."

He smiled.

Justin walked in. It looked exactly the same but more liquor bottles and the dishes were scattered all over the counter.

"So are you going to tell me?"

"Why do you care so much?" He asked.

"Because I wasn't expecting to see your face everyday"

"Ok I'll tell you. After I got back I was eager to start selling my art. Landon said he would put it up in the store. As time passed he still hadn't put up any of my work up. So after 3 months I asked him why none of my stuff was up. He basically said it wasn't good enough and he wanted to keep it for himself which made no sense. Then I realized he wanted to hold me back. He didn't want to share me with the rest of the world. I was only good enough for him. So I left him. Then I thought what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I couldn't be in New York on my own. I didn't know why I couldn't so I looked into it. I wanted to figure out why I needed someone to take care of me. Why I couldn't do things on my own. Then I did some researching and I found out I have a personality disorder. It's called Dependent Personality Disorder. It's where you didn't get enough love or attention from your parents when you were younger so you attach to that someone later in you life. Mainly to that father figure. So I thought about it and I realized my dad didn't give a shit about me when I was younger. He never accepted me and never understood why I was the way I am. Even when I was 5 and I didn't want to play sports with him like every other father, son would play in our neighborhood. So basically I need that one person and I want that one person….to be you. I don't want to go from guy to guy getting my heart broken. I want you and only you…forever and I'm hoping you will understand and want to be with me too."

It was silent for a few moments.

"Well?"

"Well what? What do you want me to say? Feel bad that you were treated like shit by your parents who caused you to be ever so dependent on me? Tell you that I still love you and it was never the same without you. Say that I want to be with you for the rest of my life?"

"Something like that."

They were looking into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity.

Suddenly Brian pulled Justin into his arms and kissed him.

This is what they both wanted…each other...forever.

They knew their love was like no straight or gay couple. They needed each other. Brian needed Justin to be the sunshine in his life. To make it bright and make his life worth living for because without him he was nothing. Justin needed Brian to take care of him. To be with him, to love him. To have that companionship. Together they made one. They connected perfectly. Their love was pure and untouchable.

That whole night they made love like the very first time they met. It felt like home when Brian was inside of him.

They fell asleep holding each other in their arms. When Brian woke up he couldn't explain the feeling he felt when he rolled over and saw the blond haired boy. The most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Justin opened his eyes. He wanted to wake up every morning and have Brian's face be the first thing he saw.

"Good morning Sunshine."

Justin smiled and lit up the room.

"How did you sleep?"

"It was a hard night but eventually I slipped into a nice relaxed sleep."

They both laughed.

"Do you have work today?" Justin asked

"Yea, I get off at 6 but then when I get home we're going to Woody's and then Babylon for some hot and heavy dancing."

"And fucking, don't forget the fucking."

"I never forget the fucking."

Relentlessly Brian got up and got dressed for work and left.

Later that day Justin went over to see his mom and sister and afterwards tried to look for a job around town.

All day he couldn't get last night out of his mind. He was finally were he wanted to be. With the man he wanted to be with….forever.

At six he was back at the loft waiting for Brian to get home.

The door slid open.

"Honey I'm home." He heard Brian say.

"I never imagined you would be saying that."

"Ready to go to Woody's?"

"Ready when you are." Justin replied.

"I stink. I'm gunna shower and then we can go."

A half an hour later they were at Woody's with Ted, Blake, Emmett and Drew.

"Maybe we all should move up to Canada. I mean it can't be much colder than it is here." Ted said.

"My business is here." Brian said.

"You can take it there." Ted replied.

"This is our home though. This is all we know." Justin exclaimed.

"I can't switch football teams right now. We're in the middle of the season." Drew said.

"Well I think it's a wonderful idea Teddy. If only it worked out for everyone." Emmett said.

Ted sighed and slumped.

Blake gave him a little squeeze.


	8. The shot heard around Liberty Avenue

After an hour or so at Woody's the gang left to go to Babylon.

"I think starting my own fashion line would be fabulous. Don't you think so honey?"

"Sure." He said rolling his eyes then kissing him on the cheek.

"You can't always have everyone you little fucker" shouted a guy behind them.

They turned around and saw Landon.

He had a calm expression on his face. His eyes were cold and dead. He had a bottle of whiskey in his hand. This was a completely different Landon than Justin once knew.

"Landon, what the hell are you doing here?" Justin asked.

"Oh so is this the ex husband?" Brian inquired.

"Brian Kinney can't always get what he fucking wants."

He spoke in a very calm almost quiet voice.

"What are you talking about?" Justin asked.

"Somebody's got to teach that little fucker that he can't have EVERYONE!" He shouted.

Landon pulled out a gun from his jacket pocket and shot two shots at Brian's chest. Before anyone knew it Brian was on the ground…blood everywhere.

"BRIAN!" Justin screamed as a kneeled down beside him. He pulled Brian into his arms.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? LANDON!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? BRIAN!!" He cried

Landon was motionless. He just stared down at Brian's body on the ground. The gun was still in his hand.

"SOMEONE CALL 911." Justin shouted.

"Oh my God" Emmett just kept on repeating.

Ted got out his phone and dialed the hospital.

"BRIAN NO…….NO….BRIAN stay with me…..I've got you….stay with me…hold on."

All of a sudden they heard another gunshot. Everyone flinched. Landon had just shot himself in the head.

Soon they heard the sirens come rushing down the streets. The ambulance arrived and put Brian on the stretcher.

"Is he going to be ok?" Justin asked panicky.

"We're not sure."

"There is another body over here." One of the nurses shouted.

"He's dead already." Justin said

"Are you with him?" He pointed to Brian in the ambulance.

"Yea I'm his partner."

"Then get in."

Justin got into the ambulance and kneeled by Brian's side.

"We will meet you at the hospital." Ted shouted at Justin.

The nurses rushed Brian in. His face was pale now. His eyes slightly open.

They arrived at the hospital and rushed Brian in.

"I'm sorry sir but you're going to have to wait here." One of the female nurses said.

"No I need to be with him!" Justin yelled.

"You can't go back while their doing surgery. You can see him after."

"Will he be ok?" Justin asked.

"I hope so."

She left him in the waiting room.

The sight of Brian in his arms wouldn't get out of his mind…all the blood.

Why did this have happen?

Tears rushed down his face.

Ted and Emmett arrived soon after.

"Is he going to be alright?" Ted asked.

"He just went in."

"Oh honey I'm so sorry." Emmett sat next to him and held Justin in his arms while he cried.

"It's going to be ok." Emmett said reassuringly.

After an hour of sitting and waiting one of the doctors came out.

"Mr. Taylor?"

"Yes….is he ok? Please tell me he's ok."

"We have to do another surgery before we know what condition he is going to be."

"Can I talk to him?"

"Yes but just for a few minutes."

"Thank you."

Justin walked into the room. Brian was lying motionless on the hospital bed. The sound of the IV beating in his heart. He knelt by his bedside and took his hand. Brian stirred.

"Hey Sunshine" He said weakly.

Tears fell from Justin's eyes.

"I'm going to be fine you don't need to be a little fagot."

"Brian I was so scared."

"Why?"

"I was afraid I was going to loose you."

"Even if you had you would be fine."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I will always be with you. Listen to me, are you listening?"

"Yea I'm listening"

"Promise me that no matter what happens to me that you will go on living and go on being the best homosexual out there. Promise me you will never give up and quit that you try and change this fucking world. Do you got it?"

Justin kissed Brian. His lips were as cold as ice.

"I guess its JT turn to warm up Rage again."

"Right now?"

"No not right now you would probably die."

"Don't make me laugh." He coughed. "Who shot me anyways?"

"You don't remember?"

"Was it…what's his face…..Brandon?"

"Yea but its Landon"

"Why the fuck did he shoot me? I thought he was some tree hugging hippie."

"I don't know…he shot himself afterwards."

"No shit."

Brian started to cough.

"You don't look so could maybe you should try and get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

Brian laid there looking at him. He knew he couldn't push him away forever.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Nothing, just looking at the man that I love."

"I love you Brian." Justin reminded him.

"I love you Justin…I always will."

Justin laid his head on the bed still holding Brian's hand. He stroked the back of the blonds head. Brian knew that what they had was something that could never be destroyed. Not even death could kill it.

"It's time for you surgery Mr. Kinney." The nurse said as she walked in.

"Yeah" He groaned.

"I will be here when you get done."

"He is probably going to need his sleep." The nurse said.

"Then when will I have a chance to see him?"

"You'll see me in your dreams."

The nurse rolled Brian out on the stretcher.

Justin went back to the waiting room. He told the others how he was doing and to go home.

"You should go home too honey. You look exhausted." Emmett said.

"I'm fine. I'm going to stay until he gets out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I'll call you guys if anything happens. Thanks for coming."

"Okay. You take care baby."

Ted and Emmett and the others left.

Justin sat down. He didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to eat. He just wanted to be with Brian.

Hours had gone by and just when he started to fall asleep he heard a nurse calling his name.

"Mr. Taylor...Mr. Taylor"

"That's me, I'm right here. How is he, can I see him?"

There are only a few things that a person can tell by only looking into another person's eyes. Like when someone is in love or when someone is scared, also when something has gone wrong.

The nurse's eyes were distress.

"I'm sorry Mr. Taylor…"

"What is it? What happened?"

She paused for a few moments.

"What is it? Can you fix it?"

"He didn't make it."

"What do you mea…is he ok……don't tell me he's d…"

The nurse just bowed her head.

"I'm sorry."

It sunk in. The words she was saying. Everything around him just stopped. It couldn't be. Brian couldn't be gone. Brian was invincible. He was just talking to him a couple hours ago; he was just going in for some more surgery.

"How did that happen?" he mumbled.

"One of the doctors made a mistake. We're deeply sorry for your loss."

Justin immediately fell to the floor weeping.

The pain was too much to take.


	9. Forever Love

Justin was on his way to an art gallery opening. He was unbelievably nervous. He opened the black glass doors to the show.

"There he is!!!"

"Hey Paul"

The man rushed over to Justin and gave him a warm hug.

"How does it feel to be the star of the show?"

"Pretty good"

"Come over here I want you to meet some people." Paul dragged Justin over to the group of people huddled together.

"Josh, Mark, Maggie, Nancy I would like you to met Justin Taylor."

"Oh my, it's a pleasure to meet you young man. You art is exquisite." The tall white haired lady said.

"And to be so young." said the plumper man.

"You truly have a gift." said the other woman.

"Thank you."

It was Justin's very first art show. The whole show was made up of his work. Finally he got the chance for the critics to see his art.

"We were all just admiring this one over here especially. It's a gorgeous piece of art. I've never seen the human form drawn so beautifully. It's like you made it come to life. Not to mention the man is radiant." The white haired lady said.

"Thank you. That one is one of my most prized pieces. I get the most complements on it. I drew it actually when I was only 17."

"What is the name of the piece and is it for sale?"

"That is the only one not for sale."

"And the name?"

"Forever…Love."


End file.
